The Difference Between The Genres

From the internet. A friend shared this with me, which he found on MetalStorm.net forums, written by user Mankvill. Whether it was original to him or not, the internet does not tell. But it is worthy of sharing.

• POWER METAL
  The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest.
• THRASH METAL
  The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princess and fucks her.
  
• HEAVY METAL
  The protagonist arrives on a Harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few beers and fucks the princess.
  
• FOLK METAL
  The protagonist arrives with some friends playing accordions, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls asleep (because of all the dancing). Then all leave........ without the princess.
  
• VIKING METAL
  The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty axe, skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals her belongings and burns the castle before leaving.
  
• DEATH METAL
  The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess and kills her, then leaves.
  
• BLACK METAL
  The protagonist is the dragon, dwells in the heart of the night with in a castle full of hellhounds and eternal flames. He kills the sassy knight, fucks the noble steed and sacrifices the princess to Satan.
  
• GORE METAL
  The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in front of the castle, fucks the princess and kills her. Then he fucks the dead body again, slashes her belly and eats her guts. Then he fucks the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and fucks it for the last time.
  
• DOOM METAL
  The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he could never beat him, then he gets depressed and commits suicide. The dragon eats his body and the princess as dessert. That's the end of the sad story.
  
• PROGRESSIVE METAL
  The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes. The dragon kills himself out of boredom. The protagonist arrives to the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques and tunes he learned in the last year of the conservatory. The princess escapes looking for the 'HEAVY METAL' protagonist.
  
• GLAM METAL
  The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's appearance and lets him enter. He steals the princess' make up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink colour.
  
• NU METAL
  The protagonist arrives in a run down Honda Civic and attempts to fight the dragon but he burns to death when his moronic baggy clothes catch fire.